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Officer Dudley here, with a very important message!
Not everybody realizes this, but every single day hundreds of thousands of people all over the world are assholes. This unfortunate fact is an inconvenience at best and a hazard at worst. And I know what you're asking yourself right now.
"What the hell can I do about it?"
Well, I'm here to fill you in on a little secret. The answer lies in
General Purpose
Self-Revelation
Assistance Cards
(intended for ages 6+).
What is a General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card, you ask? It's a small placard bearing a potentially life-altering message intended for a recipient deemed in dire need of drastic social realignment. In other words, it's something to make fuckheads cry.
Remember, just a few General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards, distributed with careful consideration (or gleeful abondon), can help to stave off the effects of assholes in your area, as well as around the world.
Sincerely,
Officer Dudley
Purveyor of Truth,
Outfitter of Justice,
Importer/Exporter of Righteousness |
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Do you need to remain incognito and on the down low? Let Officer Dudley do the dirty work for you! He will mail one General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card to the recipient of your choice. Completely anonymous!
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Enlightenment with a touch of elegance, our white General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards are great before or after Labor Day! Perfect for anniversaries, adversaries, bar mitzvahs, and bar fights! |
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Like sirens for your eyes! Attract the attention of pedants and mongoloids alike with Officer Dudley's orange General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards. |
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