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"Officer Dudley" is an anagram of "Decry If Fouled" and "Idly Force Feud."

Dudley Castle has stood on a hill overlooking the town of Dudley, England since the 11th century.

The footmen of aristocrats and of royalty would deliver cards to the servants of their prospective hosts solemnly introducing the arrival of their owners.

The Book of Revelation (also called Revelations, The Revelation of St. John the Divine, Revelation to John, Apocalypse of John, and Revelation of Jesus Christ) is the last book in the New Testament and is the only book composed entirely of literature referring to the Apocalypse.
Q: Who is Officer Dudley?

A: Officer Dudley is a composite of several popular pop culture icons specifically designed to invoke pleasurable feelings from things that are actually bad for you. Studies indicate that Officer Dudley's exuberant yet authoritative demeanor helps to soften the blow of undesirable input without lessening the impact, thereby increasing comprehension, acceptance and introspection by a significant margin.

Officer Dudley proved most effective in test studies with a 27% self-revelation inducement rate in high-resistance subjects, narrowly edging out a combination of Estelle Getty, Bazooka Joe and Spuds MacKenzie ("Gramma Suds"), and followed closely by an orangutan dressed as a Storm Trooper.

Q: What is a General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card?

A: A General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card is a 3-1/2" x 2" placard that bears a potentially life-altering message intended for a recipient deemed in dire need of drastic social-integration re-alignment. In other words, it makes assholes cry.

Q: Why do I need General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards?

A: It is no less than every individual's duty to make the most of the best and the best of the most of the society in which they thrive, enriching the quality of living for themselves and those around them. Unfortunately for all, that paradigm is often violently shifted by loud-mouthed nitwits burdened with inexplicably oversized belt buckles. Many believe that these "social bogeys" will spontaneously "get what's coming to them." Such optimism is folly and often leads to epidemic-level outbreaks of inconsiderate behavior, aggression, hatred and Ford F150's.

Just one strategically-placed General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card can have a profound effect and dramatically reduce the spread of motherfuckers in your area.

Q: How will I know when to use a General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card?

A: There are plenty of opportunities to use a General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card all around you - around all of us - if only we would take the time to look. But when the time is right, you'll know. One day you'll meet that certain somebody and it will feel so right that you'll wonder how there could ever have been any doubt. After that, it'll come as second nature; but nobody ever forgets their first General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Card.

Q: Won't I get punched in the face?

A: That's the beauty of General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards. Up close and personal or remotely activated; the choice is yours but the impact is the same. Whether mailed anonymously from a cowardly bitch or hand-delivered atop a smoldering dollop of coyote dung, General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards maintain their potency for months, years, or maybe even a lifetime.

Q: Why don't I have any General Purpose Self-Revelation Assistance Cards right this instant?

A: That is an excellent question!
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